Emma Delores Govan

Two weeks ago on Sunday, January 04, 2009 at 11:05 am, my mother went from death to life for all eternity. Even though it's hard to come to grips with the finality that death brings in this life, knowing that I will never get a phone call from her from the same phone number she's had for the last 31 years. But I rejoice because my mother is no longer in pain and she is with the Lord, but knowing that one day I will leave this Earth (unless Jesus comes back first) I'll leave loved ones behind it brings things into focus.

Upon conception, we are conceived unto a physical death, but the heart problems that finally took my mom's life started 21 years and some months ago when she had a massive heart attack as a blood clot traveled to her heart. But I thank GOD for allowing my mother to live that amount of time because at the ripe age of 31 she could have been taken from my sister, brother and myself. As I was about 13 years old, my sister was around 11 or 12 and my brother was around 6 years old. I thank GOD that he allowed my mother to live through a massive heart attack that many doctors thought would take her out. As a Christian and a Minister I understand that in all things GOD gets the glory because even though my mom was on disability for that time, it allowed her to be home for us as we were growing up, she was at football and basketball games. She was able to attend award ceremonies and etc. Upon her death about 25% of her heart was working, to the point she was retaining about 40 pounds of fluid in her body.

I must be honest and say that it pained my heart to see my mom's legs and feet so swollen with fluid, that many times I had to go upstairs just to weep because I didn't want her to feel bad. In November my mom went to the doctor to see if she was able to be put on the heart donors list as her body was getting weaker, but the doctor told her that her body was too weak for a transplant. So when she came back home she was given medication to help stimulate her heart for about a month. On New Years Eve she was back in the hospital to get her heart checked and as it turned out nothing had really changed. I still remember getting the call on Friday, January 2nd from my sister when she gave me the news that the doctors were going to send my mother home on January 5th because there was nothing else they could do for her because her body wasn't responding to the medication, that was supposed to make her heart stronger. Thank GOD that I'd just taken my lunch break because I just broke down and cried because I knew how it was going to end and while at lunch I began to pray that GOD wouldn't allow my mom to suffer because through the years of her heart problem my mom still lived life to the fullest, she volunteered at food banks, cared for her ailing father (my granddad) and so much more. But things got so bad so fast that she had trouble walking, breathing and if it was cold she would have a real bad day. Even so that, months before her death she was already making arrangements for her funeral, and she would tell people that we (her kids) would appreciate that everything was taken care of when she died.

During the final weekend of her life she decided that since they were taking her of the machine that was draining fluid from her body because she'd developed a blood clot and the heart medication that she wanted to be taken off of all of her meds. During the last 21 years she was taking about 20 different meds daily and I saw the effects of the medicines as it wore her down even though it kept her alive, but she decided that her life would be in GOD'S hands and if HE healed her, no doctors or medicine would get the credit and if she passed then she would be with the LORD. During that time so many people came by the hospital, to joke with her, to see how she was doing and most importantly to pray for her. So many would comment to me when they left the room about how my mom was strong and how she had encouraged them.

She often commented on how she knew that GOD was still in control because people she'd fallen out with years past started to call her and she commented on how she asked for people's forgiveness for what may have transpired in the past. I often heard her saying that "she didn't have time to play games because she was dealing with her soul and she didn't want unforgiveness to keep her out of Heaven, so if people didn't want to let go of the past, that was their problem, but she was going to get things right."

The things I remember about my mom are: how at the end of her life physically she was not what I remembered but I think more importantly those ailments made her a better person and how she help people from taking in a Hurricane Katrina victim for free, to serving in the community and many of the things I found out were from her peers and friends because she wasn't helping people for fame or fortune. I remember a mom who most of our lives was a single parent and how she'd wear the same clothes during the week just to make sure her kids had proper clothes to wear to school. I remember a mom who was fair and wanted her kids to treat everyone with respect and she never made excuses for our shortcoming but demanded that we respect everyone. I remember a mom that when she found out that I'd written a book; she was my biggest fan and she sold more books than I did or when I was able to preach she was there until the last time because her health didn't allow it. I remember a mom that would buy things for her grandkids. And even though we weren't a family that always told each other that we loved them, we knew our mom loved us because as we got older we saw the sacrifices she made for us.

I could go on and on about my amazing mom, but I'll close with this thought. So many times I've heard grown people cuss at their parents, say hateful and hurtful things to their parents, disrespect their parents, killed their parents or had to compete with their parents, and I was always shocked to hear those things because my mom was always there for me and my siblings. Even when I last saw her on Saturday night she was making sure I was taking care of my body and that everything was alright with me. And I'm thinking "mom I'm okay, I'm more worried about you getting better." She told us all, that she was proud of us and she loved us.

I praise GOD because I had an awesome and faithful mother and it hurts that she's gone and sometimes I think to myself that I haven't gotten a call from her, then I remember there will be no more calls. But I'm more thankful and glad that my mom doesn't have to cry anymore, she doesn't hurt anymore and even though she was 53 years young, she did the most with less and to me (more than a monetary inheritance)........that's a real legacy.

Emma Delores Govan: February 16, 1955 - January 04, 2009